Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Some Days I Just Feel Like This...


Empty. Blank. Depleted. Vacant.When I'm super stressed, have a lot on my mind and have an out of control To-Do List, I feel like a blank chalkboard by the end of the day. I'm pooped. I hate it when I feel like this because I always have a running list of things I'd like to accomplish after I get off work. I'm the type of person who always gives whatever I am working on 110%, even it means dragging myself into the ground. I love learning new things. I love to challenge myself. I enjoy working my tail off. Sometimes, it's just incredibly hard to stay motivated and excited when I've got nothing left to give by the end of the day.

Over the past couple of years, I've actually gotten used to being in this state-of-mind. I've found that it doesn't necessarily mean anything bad or negative at all. In fact, I feel that its quite necessary for my own personal growth to feel this way from time to time. It means that I am opening myself to new things, living life from a different perspective and most important, challenging myself both mentally and physically. I spent eight years of my life slinging drinks behind bars every night. Being a bartender was so easy for me, I joked that I could even do it in my sleep. It was fun and easy money, but it didn't challenge me mentally on a nightly basis.

My brain got a huge wakeup call when I decided to go to beauty school to get my esthetician license. Every day at school I seemed to face new challenges like adapting to a hectic schedule, learning new material in my theory classes and having to touch a stranger's skin in the treatment room. After graduating and passing State Board, I was fortunate enough to start working full-time at a job within my new chosen industry. I officially left my comfortable world of bartending behind for my new job(s) that require me to have a whole new mindset and apply the new set of skills I learned in school. I've been known to experience pre-shift jitters, worrying myself to death about being able to do a good job while making clients happy. I spent many nights after work exhausted and unable to focus on anything other than figuring out what I was going to eat for dinner. There were times when I would even be too tired to make it to the dinner table.

My current job takes every ounce of energy out of me by the time I clock out for the day. In my new position, I am constantly challenged everyday with taking in new information and turning it into something productive and useful. I spend eight hours a day, non-stop, learning, teaching, promoting, brainstorming, enhancing and absorbing new information.

It's no wonder my mind feels like a blank chalkboard by the end of the day. It means that I'm giving it my all and growing as a human being in the process. I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

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